I'm sorry... I promise I'll come back for you.
Sorry... I'm sorry...
Hey, hey, hey! Goemon, a member of the teen-idol group Hansamu, had a shotgun marriage.
This is rotten.
Really, this world has gone rotten. Cohabitation or shotgun marriages... People are losing their morals.
No, that's not what I meant. There's something in here that looks like mold.
This is mold, right?
Indeed.
It may be a moldy and outdated way of thinking,
but if we lose our discipline, it'll be the end of humanity.
No, that's not what I meant.
When did you buy this? Isn't it past the expiration date?
Right!
Women are too sensitive about their "expiration" date! They shouldn't sell themselves so cheap.
Hey, cut it out. This is rotten. Who bought this?
It really is rotten!
You bet they are. Your brains are rotten.
Boy, they just don't listen anymore.
Especially Shinpachi, sometimes I feel he looks at me with contempt.
Maybe I should beat him into submission. Kagura...?
With her, it's the opposite--she'd beat me up.
[This is your child. Please raise him. I am exhausted and can no longer care for him.]
No. No way. This isn't happening.
Really. It's so ridiculous.
No way. That was just... Right...
It's all right. This can't be happening...
No, no, no, no, no! No way! This can't be happening! Not happening!
There's no way this is happening to me right now. Uh-uh! No way!
I said...!
Shut up, you idiot! It's too early for your crap!
[A naturally wavy-haired baby was left in front of Odd Jobs.]
[Gin-san is shocked by the unexpected discovery of an illegitimate child!!]
["Milk Should Be Served at Body Temperature"]
You're rotten...
You really are...
I always knew you were good-for-nothing,
but I didn't think you could be so thoughtless as to plant a seed and just move on.
But I always got a "5" in PE. So, I know how to control myself.
[Note: School subjects in Japan are evaluated by numbers, 5 being the highest, like an "A".]
Well, this has nothing to do with PE.
Don't act stupid. His hair is soft like a cat's and wavy.
And that arrogant expression, too. Obviously inherited from you.
You're saying I passed on the naturally wavy hair trait? I'd never lay a trap like that on my own kid!
I'd make a silky straight-haired kid, even if it meant untwisting my genes!
Come on!
Stop talking so loud. The baby will cry! Right, Silver J. Fox?!
Can you stop it? Can you stop calling him by that name?
I bet his young mom just left him to go play pachinko. How annoying!
Mr. Naturally-wavy hair is trying to dodge his responsibility.
He just doesn't know when to admit the truth, right, Ginraku?
[Note: Ginraku is written from the "Gin" in Gintoki and the "gura" in Kagura]
Will you stop it?! Stop calling him by that comic storyteller's name!
[Note: Many comic storytellers have a name that contains "raku."]
Oh, this is bad!
He's getting cranky.
Did he poop in his pants or what?
It doesn't look like it. He just wants some milk.
Someone! Does anyone have breast milk?
Let me try. I feel like some might come out now.
No way!
Why are you bringing out your motherly instincts all of sudden?!
It might come out of mine. In fact, I've had an upset stomach since yesterday.
That's not where milk's made! That's called diarrhea!
He's drinking!
He really is!
Wow, he's sucking really well! It's like he's real!
Hey! Don't let her carry the baby anymore.
Hey! Let me try it, too!
You're too young! Come back in a hundred years!
These days, men can take better care of babies!
Leave it to me as the old woman! Old women are really good at this kind of thing.
Hey, hey...
This is not good.
Everyone looks so happy...
It never hurts to have one of these either. Really, what a troublesome baby.
Really... That's why I hate little brats.
Peek-a-boo!
What? He isn't laughing at all.
It seems... They're all going gaga over him.
All right, Kintoki. Don't become a loser like your father.
Mantoki. Look over here, Mantoki.
Ginraku. It's your mother, Ginraku.
Sakata. Idiot Sakata.
All these names are derived from my name!
Ah! Where are you going?!
That bastard! I wonder if he's going to abandon him again...
Over my dead body!!
Um...
Excuse me.
I'd like to ask you something...
An abandoned child?
Right. I'll leave the rest up to you guys, the police. Please take care of it.
Hey, hey... Are you kidding me, Mister?
You and this boy are like two peas in a pod. He's even got those dead fish eyes of yours.
Don't you know? Nowadays, all brats are like that.
It's because they're obsessed with video games and the Internet, and they don't play outside.
It's a really sick era.
Anyway, I don't know with whom you made this kid. Aren't you a stud, Mister?
Okita-kun. Mister is over here. You're doing that on purpose, aren't you?!
Well, Mister... It means you must reap what you sowed.
Anyway,
I'm busy with official business, so let's just wrap this up.
Why am I surrounded by people who won't listen to my story?
Do we look so much alike? The two of us?
Oh? Gin-san?
Are you working now? You really do work hard.
O-Oh... Well... That's right...
Babysitting... I mean, I was asked to do something like...
See-ya
Hey, wait, Gin-san!
One Azuki Bar and Baagen-Dash, please.
We don't usually have such fancy ice cream.
Well, don't mind us...
They have it at the convenience store, don't they?
I'll go buy it.
It's all right. Seriously!
I gotta get outta here! If she finds out, I'm not sure what she'll do!
Ah, Gin-san!
I said
wait!!
Daina bomb?
[Note: "Daina bomb" is a play on the word "dainagon" which is a kind of red bean sweet.]
Ah...
Hey... Are you all right?
I see...That was it... You two were...a couple...
I feel so stupid... I didn't know anything... I was the only one...
I was like...a buffon...
You played with my feelings and strung me along... While you two were busy making a baby together.
Sarutobi-san, what are you talking about? I'll knock your brains out.
That's enough. It really is! I look so stupid. I really do!
You don't "look stupid," you are stupid! You really are stupid, aren't you?
No matter how much disdain you show for me, I don't feel good anymore!
Our little S&M game is over!!
When did I ever do S&M with you?
You two have tons of children and have a big family!
And live in a house with many holes in the paper sliding doors!
[Note: Kids love to poke holes in paper sliding doors.]
Good-bye! Best wishes, whatever!
But...
I won't let you do that!
Oh, please, you're a one-woman soap opera! You're a B-movie script!
I pity you, Otae-san.
The moment a woman gives birth, she isn't seen as a woman anymore! She's just a family member!
You're no longer a woman!
You've taken yourself out of the competition! Way to go!
What kind of battle are you talking about?!
I said I didn't give birth! Who wants to have a child with that pathetic samurai?!
Then how do you explain that boy? He looks just looks like him! His natural wavy hair and eyes!
He's just like him!
I really don't know! At least I'm sure he's not my child!
Right, Gin-san? Say something to her!
Like father, like son!!
That's your bastard child all right. And you call yourself a samurai? For shame.
I'll make Shin-chan quit his job. Let's go, Sarutobi-san.
Why? Why won't anybody around here listen to me?
Because you never listen to other people.
Oh...I see...
I'm sorry, but I don't know. I've never seen a lady like this before.
I see.
Oh, I'm sorry. I was so forward. I still haven't introduced myself.
I'm Kahei Hashida. I run a store here in Kabukicho.
Huh? That big corporation?
What's that?
You see? You can see it from the Yorozuya. That huge building!
So, what happened?
Well... The other day, my one and only precious grandson suddenly disappeared.
A kidnapping?
I don't know for sure, but he just started walking, so he probably...
I have reason to believe that lady in the photograph was involved.
A beautiful lady, like this?
Did you report it to the police?
Well, the circumstances are a bit complicated, so I don't want to make this matter public.
But under the circumstances, you really shouldn't be worried about your privacy.
Right... That's probably true, but...
Please... If you see this lady, just contact me.
I'm asking for your cooperation. And here's a photo of my grandson...
Excuse me. Is anybody here?
Hey, over here. How can I help you?
Ah...
I feel like I've lost my confidence. Hey, you. You're not really my son, are you?
Where're your real parents? Please release me from this responsibility.
Call your father. Say "Daddy."
You there. Stop right now.
Hey, hey. You've got lots of fathers...
[OTOSE SNACK HOUSE]
Stop! Let me go!
You, wicked woman!
I've finally I found you.
Where's Kanshichiro? Tell me!
This woman...
Remember who you are!
Hey, hey. Aren't you going a little overboard? She can't speak unless you stop that!
Forgive me. I got too worked up.
But from now on, it's a family matter, so we'll deal with it ourselves.
I'm sorry...
...for all the fuss.
Otose-san...
Oh!
What?
This is the person the old man was looking for.
A photo of his grandson.
Isn't this good, kore?
[Note: Konohamaru of Naruto ends many of his sentences with "kore."]
Is Gin-san all right, kore?
Could it be Gin-san is involved in some sort of trouble, kore?
Huh?
Kidnapping? What? Who? Where?
It's useless. Don't play dumb.
You're that woman's lover or something, aren't you?
You two kidnapped the grandson of Kahei-sama in some kind of conspiracy.
And you're trying to take Hashidaya's fortune, aren't you?
Hey, what are these people talking about?
Hey, you! What are you talking about?
I was told to capture the suspect alive, but it doesn't matter. It's a man. Kill him.
Hey, hey, hey! I'm not your problem!
I just found this kid outside my door. I do odd jobs! I don't know the first thing about kidnapping!!
Then give us that baby back!
Hold on. Don't rush.
If you want, I'd be happy to...
If you won't give him back, we'll take him by force!
Get him!
I said...
I don't know anything about it!
I'll give him back to you... You can take the brat!
You bastard! What did you do?!
Catch him!!
You have an interesting fighting technique.
I wonder if you must be used to fighting to protect someone.
Dangerous people like you can't raise a child. Get out of my way. It's time for his milk.
Good ...You're good.
The smell of the beast... You can't hide it. You smell like the beast and so does that brat.
It's no fun fighting a one-armed opponent. I'll let you go.
Okada!
You, what are you doing?!
After him! Don't let him out of your sights!
Oh, dear!
It's so dirty! I wonder why men always dirty the urinal like this.
Especially on the left side.
I hear most men point left.
It's rare for men to point right, and it's the sign that they'll become the ruler of the kingdom.
They say Toyotomi Hideyoshi pointed to the right.
Oh, my! My husband points to the right. He'll become the ruler!
Toilets are disgusting lately too. It's like, "Which way do their butt-holes face?"
I know, huh? It's probably those ronin our master hired.
Really. Don't they know how to use a toilet?! I don't know if they're exclusionist rebels or what, but come on.
And who knows what our master is up to behind the scenes.
The rumor is his grandson, Kanshichiro-sama, was kidnapped.
I wonder if he was involved in some bad business.
You're wrong. It heard Ofusa did it.
Huh? Is that so? Oh, no! That lady would do something like that?
Well, after she was treated so badly, it couldn't be helped. Because she...
Who's there?!
Wh-What are you doing, old women?! Don't look! Don't look at me!
Kya! It's just some guy, and what a stinker!
Kya! It's Hasegawa, the new guy!
Stop saying "Kya!" It doesn't sound cute, you old hags!
Kya! His points to the left!
Kya! His curves more!
Hey! Close the door! Close it! Please, close it!
Damn it!
I shouldn't have taken this job as a janitor! There aren't any hot little maids here!
There're only old women!
Hey! Just keep walking.
Huh?
That is...the girl those old women were just talking about...
Hey, hey... This isn't the sort of place I should stay too long.
But what are you going to do if you quit this job? Are you going back to your loafer life?
That's right. I'm always like this.
When I come across something I don't like, I quit. Escaping is becoming my habit.
That's right. He's a totally useless man, a DORK. He oughta kill himself.
No, no, no. That's messed up. Why do I have to kill myself?
That wasn't right. I mean, death's no trip to Kyoto.
No, no, no. You'd better die. There won't be anything good in your future if you live, uh-huh.
"Uh-huh..." What? Huh?
What are you doing, you guys?!
Are you the one adding the weird narration and filling my head with such suicidal thoughts?!
Why are you here?!
We're housekeepers.
How about you? What are you doing here? Did you change jobs again?
What do you mean "again"?! Why are you giving me that look?!
Oh, well. Good timing. Hasegawa-san, can you show us around?
Show you around?
Damn him! Where did he go?
He can't be far away! Find him!
Hey, they're gone.
I said they're gone.
I said they're gone!
There's no way I can hide in there!
Oh! You were hiding over there, after all.
Whatever. There's no way I could hide in there! Are you stupid? I bet you are.
I'm not stupid, I'm Katsura!
Gintoki, they're probably exclusionist ronin.
And the Hashidaya they mentioned is one of the biggest corporations in Edo.
Do you know anything about it?
Kahei Hashida is a dangerous man.
He supports the exclusionist ronin so he can move them around behind the scenes.
That's why he became so powerful. It's not just an ordinary businessman.
Why did a man like that's grandson come to me?
I guess you did "nyan nyan" with one of the girls at Kahei's place.
I already told you, I didn't! And what's "nyan nyan"?
That's an outdated word! Did you mean Yuyake?
Anyway, look at his arrogant face. He's definitely identical to you!
It's the job of a baby to cry. But you're ignoring your duties, slacker?!
What kind of childcare is that?!
You've got to be kidding! If he starts crying now...
Well, I'd just throw him into the river.
Oh, yeah. The only time a man should cry is if his hair's permed too tight.
You have good prospects in that area.
Even more than Shinpachi.
Hey, Gintoki... Look down.
Huh?
It looks like his upper part is all right, but his lower part gets wet easily.
Hey, hey! This is bad!
It doesn't look like the old man of Hashidaya is a harmless old businessman!
He's more like a dangerous man with a dark rumor!
Let's go home! Let's go home with this old man! I'll buy you some pickled seaweed!
I can't turn back now after hearing that.
As I thought, there's got to be something going on behind the scenes.
You thought I was some kind of hussy you could buy with pickled seaweed, huh, bastard?!
How many? How much pickled seaweed were you going to offer me?
Don't tell me four! You were not going to give me only four?!
Kagura-chan, please be quiet.
Is this the place? Is this the room they brought that woman to?
Hey, how many?! Just say it. It's not like I'm interested or anything...
[Diaper]
Oh, yours points to the right. You'll become somebody big in the future. Good for you!
What? What? Don't feel bad about wetting your pants.
Those parts of a man have a will of their own. Something like this can happen.
There you go.
Really...
I was mistaken for a dad and for a kidnapper... Today is my unlucky day.
Oh, sorry, sorry. It's your unlucky day, too. We've both got it rough, don't we?
Oh, well. But as long as we're alive, there'll be days like this. For you...
...there'll be many more hardships in life.
Eighty percent of life is made up of hardships.
Seriously...
Stuff like this happens to me all the time.
But it's not all bad.
At the end of a day like today, sake tastes great.
When everything is over, shall we have a drink together?
All right... Shall we go?
Come on! Spill it, already!
Where's Kanshichiro-sama? You'll be released of your responsibility if you tell us.
Hey! Say something!
What a stubborn woman.
I have no idea why Kantaro loves this slutty, flithy woman.
You seduced my son and killed him.
And you abducted his child... You, wicked woman!
You guys are the ones who abducted Kanshichiro.
He's my son. I won't let anyone take him from me!
It's a shame a woman like you bore a child from the Hashida family.
Kanshichiro doesn't need a mother. I'll raise him as a son and true heir.
If you won't say anything...
We'll have to get physical...
This is bad, Hasegawa-san.
Hey, what are you doing there?
Housekeepers?
Um... That's right. Th-These two are the new housekeepers...
So I'm showing them around the building.
That's right, master.
Well, we're not your "master."
What? I thought men like to hear that kind of word, don't they?
No, no, Kagura-chan! No! Don't say that!
Then, please excuse me...
Wait.
It stinks. I smell a lying spy with the stench of a rat.
I seem to be smelling a lot of odd things today.
But right now I'm in the mood for the smell of blood and steel!
Will you fight...
...Nizo, the butcher?
What's the meaning of this?
Sorry to interrupt your fun.
But I just found some suspicious rats.
Huh? I saw you guys at Otose-dono's place.
Oh, my! You followed me here. You're nosy people.
I told you this was a personal matter, so I don't need your help.
Don't worry. We came here for something personal, too.
By the way, Don't you think you're going too far even for a devoted grandfather, Kahei-san?
You guys are more than just nosy.
There are things you're better off not knowing about in this world.
[To Be Continued]
[Preview]
Are you asking me if I made an "apo?"
What's an "apo"? Huh? Could it be a fruit from the northern area, like a "Fuji Apple"?
The next episode... "If You Want to Meet Someone, Get an Appo First."
[Shinpachi and the others are in a critical pinch. And what will be the fate of Kanshichiro?!]
[Feared as "Nizo the Butcher". The sunglasses swordsman, Nizo Okada.]